Ask Debbie Barraco of East Islip to name one of the best things she's ever done and the 66-year-old retiree will likely tell you: She vacationed in Jamaica with her husband, daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren.
Multigenerational travel is an opportunity for extended families to bond, say Long Islanders who have taken it. They and area travel agents have plenty of tips for making such trips as enjoyable as possible for everyone.
“There are definitely a lot of factors to consider when planning,” says Robin Steinberger, a travel agent with Garden City-based ET Family Travel. “Do you want something tropical or cold? Are you a foodie? Do you want a water park for the kids? A lot of grandparents want a resort with a pickleball court.”
Barraco’s best advice: Don’t procrastinate. “Do it while you can. Life is short,” she says. Here are more tips for planning family getaways:
Donna Cetron, 56, a former Bay Shore teacher, makes sure the family takes a group photo on every multigenerational trip. Credits: Donna Cetron
Designate a reference person. “I take care of everything,” says Donna Cetron, 56, a former Bay Shore teacher who has organized trips for 20 family members to Jamaica and Costa Rica. She creates a chat group specifically for each trip to communicate with everyone.
Consider using a travel agent. “It’s very complicated, you have to manage a lot of different elements,” Maryann Devlin of Atlantic Travel in Mineola says of planning a group trip. People may come from different cities and be willing to pay for different levels of hotel rooms and views, she says.
Discuss financial responsibilities in advance. Trips can be international and cost tens of thousands of dollars, or they can be spent at a local campground for much less. Sometimes grandparents will fund all or part of the trip; they may cover lodging, but each family pays for their own airfare and travel insurance, for example. If grandchildren are old enough to bring their relatives, decide how much the relatives should contribute.
Don’t wait until you’re there to bring it up, as happened to Sara Feretic, 38, a teacher from Port Jefferson Station, who traveled to Lake George with her husband and children, her sister-in-law’s family, her mother-in-law and her father-in-law. “It got a little awkward at the table,” she says, as they decided how to split the bill for the first dinner. “I felt really guilty because I wanted to make sure I was giving as much as she was. I’d try to sneak money to her (my sister-in-law) and she’d put it in my purse.” Families can also use an app like Splitwise to track who owes what to whom.
Robin Steinberger, a travel agent with ET Family Travel based in Garden City, took a multigenerational cruise to Alaska with her parents, husband and children. Credit: Disney Cruise Line
Try an all-inclusive resort or cruise. “It seems to be the most popular choice because it’s easy,” Devlin says. Kids can participate in a kids’ club on board, families can go on excursions or not, everyone can meet up for dinner every day, Devlin says. There are no extra fees unless families choose add-ons.
Rent a house instead of a hotel room. “It’s actually cheaper,” says Elisa Irvolino, 53, of Patchogue, who sells curtains. Her extended family of 10 has been renting the same villa in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, for five years; it comes with a private pool, a housekeeper and a chef. They found it on VRBO, she says. They book tours that pick them up at the house in a van and take them to the beach, entertainment areas and more. “There are all kinds of day trips you can take,” she says.
Be aware of the energy levels of different generation members. “The younger ones may need some rest, just like the older ones,” says Amy Connor, 63, a drama teacher in Northport. The older generation may also move a little slower as they age, and families may need to devote more time to them, says Connor, who has traveled with different combinations of her husband, three children and her mother to Disney World and Alaska. Babies and toddlers may need a different sleep schedule.
Don't force everyone to participate in every activity. On a trip to Alaska, Connor and his daughter wanted to take a helicopter ride to a glacier, but Connor's mother wouldn't let them. So, Grandma window shopped around town while the duo did their tour, and everyone was happy.
Andrea Miller, of West Babylon, traveling with her sister, their four children and their parents. Credits: Andrea Miller
Don't assume that grandparents want to babysit. “It’s their vacation, too,” says Andrea Miller, 37, of West Babylon, who works in the insurance industry. While grandparents typically watch their kids at home, they may not want to play the same role on a trip; they might prefer to sit around a campfire and drink wine, Miller says. Her family includes her parents, who are in their 60s, her husband, her sister, her brother-in-law and four children all ages 5 and under, and they usually go camping together. Talk ahead of time about when they want to watch the kids and whether it’s possible.
Keep communication open. If something bothers you, say so, Feretic suggests. “Grandparents want to spoil their grandchildren,” she says. Parents could tell them, for example, to ask others for their opinions before giving the children candy.
Take a family photo. Cetron’s family puts on a fashion show every trip, she said. They even hire a professional photographer, and the family coordinates the color of the clothes they’ll wear. One year they wore black and white dresses, another year floral patterns for the females and solid green for the males.
Beth Whitehouse writes about families, parenting and things to do with kids on Long Island. She is a former Newsday staff editor and shared Newsday's 1997 Pulitzer Prize for her coverage of the TWA Flight 800 crash.
