If you’re a parent like me who enjoys fine dining while traveling, you’ve probably faced the dilemma of leaving the kids in a hotel with a babysitter you just met or taking them with you. I’m here to advise you to take them with you. Even though my two kids aren’t the best companions for an expensive, multi-course meal.
My wife and I choose to live on the edge of culinary tradition because sometimes we just can’t pass up a particular restaurant. Sure, our kids might not notice the artistry behind a perfectly plated dish, but my five-year-old daughter still talks about an “ice cream cake with a cherry” from one of the many Roman trattorias we dined at last year. I admit I have no memory of that particular dessert, but I’m grateful she’ll remember it forever.
Now that our kids have met more sommeliers than the average elementary schooler, here are some of the lessons we've learned—and some tips from other parents—for making the most of dining out while traveling.
Rethinking dining in big cities.
Not so long ago, restaurants in major European capitals had a reputation for being very child-friendly, says Daniella Hunt, an American who runs Guided tours of Mirabilia Urbis In Rome. These days? “A lot of restaurants have gotten really specific about getting you in and out,” Hunt says of the new paradigm of no downtime. Instead, she recommends saving those big nights for visits to smaller cities, like Orvieto or Trieste, where restaurants still love young kids.
Avoid the children's menu.
North Carolina High Hampton Resort The restaurant is one of many that are ditching this outdated concept. Executive chef Scott Franqueza offers a more thoughtful “family menu,” with upgraded versions of classic dishes. The chicken tenders are brined and soaked in buttermilk; for the fish and chips, he uses the catch of the day, whether it’s grouper, snapper or king mackerel. “When a parent takes a bite to see if something is too spicy,” Franqueza says, “we want them to want another one.”
Dress (and play) the part.
Even just putting on a dress or collared shirt can help signal to kids that dining out is a special experience and requires special behavior. For our family, preparation also includes grabbing a few coloring books and having a well-timed snack before dinner. (We also make a point of going to the bathroom when we arrive, so everyone can sit down together.)
Once seated, we have a quick chat about what might happen if someone crawled under the table and pulled on a tablecloth. There's some laughter about the potential chaos, but the message is clear.
Find common ground on phones.
Many families turn to screens to find peace at mealtime. But Rick Simone, president of the Federal Hill Commerce Association in Providence, Rhode Island, has found a compromise with his four children. At restaurants, he allows the kids to use their phones until the meal arrives. “But as soon as the food comes,” Simone says, “everyone automatically knows it’s time to put the phones away.”
Rethink menu language.
For us, creative rewording is very helpful. Our son loves soup, so at a restaurant we might offer him a root vegetable curry and call it “coconut carrot soup.” Or we might say that butternut squash is “actually a sweet potato” to encourage him to try something new.
Don't forget.
A few little things can make a big impact: a crumb-catcher bib for toddlers was a lifesaver when our kids were younger. Today, we ask for a table in a corner, or better yet, a table on a patio, where our family can have more space and avoid the prying eyes of other diners.
A version of this story first appeared in the September 2024 issue of Travel + Leisure under the title “How to Really Enjoy Dining Out with Kids.”