Lately I've been reading advice columns that tell me I shouldn't get up until the rows in front of me have gone down, and that I definitely shouldn't touch the overhead bin until my turn has come. What is the courteous practice here? – Anonymous
If you take the time to write to us for an answer to this question, you are not the problem. I don't think you're acting like a fool during disembarkation process, and judging by the description, I'd bet your traveling companions also know you have good intentions.
To verify my opinion, I turned to three etiquette experts for their advice on landing.
Nick Leighton, two-time Emmy Award-winning talk show host and co-host of the podcast “Were you raised by wolves” began with the general principle that etiquette is about recognizing that others exist.
Be a polite traveler“We want to minimize unnecessary inconvenience to people,” he said. “We want to look out for other passengers.” You seem to be doing this, everything is going well with you.
Leighton pointed out that airplanes can be a battleground for etiquette issues because they confine many people from different backgrounds together.
“Any label is a local label,” he said. “Paris, France, and Paris, Texas, have different etiquette…everyone works from slightly different etiquette playbooks.”
This means there will be people on a plane with different opinions on when to disembark.
In the United States we have a generally accepted rule that passengers must wait until they exit the rows in front of them before entering the aisle, with the exception of passing passengers who have close connections.
“It should be row by row, there's no doubt about it,” said Jules Hirst, a etiquette expert and co-author of the book “Power of Civility”.
The gray area is when to get up, she said, although you should never get up before the seat belt light goes off. A standing passenger could stop the taxiing process.
In a perfect world, we'd all sit around like church mice until we knew perfectly well when to show up, grab our stuff, and leave right behind the row in front of us – without wasting another second. But the reality is that sitting in economy takes a physical toll, and many of us want to stand after hours of cramped misery.
Hirst says it's okay for you to get up and relieve yourself, but just be careful of travelers who might need to pass you.
Lisa Mirza Grotts, a certified etiquette professional, agrees. As long as you don't try to jump the line, “there's no harm in staying in your row while you wait,” she said in an email.
All the experts agree that what is far worse than standing still is being stagnant. Your rankmates will appreciate any proactive preparation.
“If (aisle passengers) want to jump, they don’t want to jump — that’s fine,” Leighton said. “Where I don't want them to be is their stuff is all over the place, their phone is still plugged into the seat charger…I want to know that when it's our turn, they'll be ready to go. “
Especially if you are in the aisle seat, you should have your stuff together and be ready to go before it's your turn to go out. If you're looking for a cue, look for people four or five rows in front of you to finish before taking your bag out of the overhead compartment.
Mirza Grotts adds that being ready for your ride “will only have a positive ripple effect on the plane, and who doesn't want to ride that wave?”
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