Before I go on a group trip, I become the worst version of myself. Planning an event brings out my dark side, whether it's a girls' weekend in Vegas or a few “relaxed” days in upstate New York. I pester the group chat with questions about date preferences, outfit choices, and budget limits. I create Google folders for flight information, vision boards, and routes, and press Share (without granting edit access).
I could blame my Virgo moon, but according to TikTok, I'm not alone. TikTok users said there are two types of people when it comes to group events: the “planner friends” who create complex itineraries and book excursions; and “Venmo friends,” who simply send their share of the fee and show up at the airport. If you're not sure which you are, you're probably the latter.
As we get older, regular group meetings on Friends And Sex and the city seem more like fantasy than realistic fiction. A group of adult friends meeting regularly? This seems wrong. So, to successfully bring projects to fruition, at least one person must take charge and become the project manager of the occasion. For my part, I have no problem taking on this role.
The project manager's responsibilities may include preparing questionnaires to see what people expect from the trip, developing itineraries to ensure everyone knows when everything is happening, and in some cases creating 'a document where everyone can share what they think. I wear it throughout the weekend. Is it extra? Undeniably. But you'd be pissed if you showed up in jeans and a cute top while everyone else was wearing mini dresses and heels, right?
Surveys, contracts and spreadsheets
Although a group trip may seem like fun and games, anything that requires someone to spend limited and valuable resources, like their money and time, is essentially a business partnership, says Tanya Sesiakin, 27 years, who used two different Google forms ahead of her September 2023 wedding – one for bridal shower guests and one for bridesmaids. When you provide the information up front, people can decide whether they can attend the meeting knowing how much the commitment will cost them. It's almost like a contract.
Sesiakin used their surveys to gauge things like cleavage preferences, how willing they would be to help on the wedding day, and what type of drinks they prefer. “With the survey, you tell participants that your opinion and your contribution are important,” she says. “You’re almost gamifying market research.”
On TikTok, other planner friends agree that investigations are a necessary part of group travel planning, such as how some couples HR-ify their relationships with spreadsheets and weekly check-ins. Making everything public allows for revisions. Faults can be fixed before it's too late.
“(Surveys) help you get a better idea of what people are willing to commit to,” says Sesiakin. “You have the added benefit of receiving more honest responses than in a group chat, because people will just accept what the majority says (via text).”
Planning is a full-time job
Felisha Barrett, 38, works as a travel agent in Travel Forums, where she offers her clients meticulous itineraries, often 10 pages long. “The more details I include, the better,” she says.
Although prices vary across the travel industry, Barrett estimates that most basic services cost on average about $500 to plan a trip for a group — and that doesn't include any additional commissions agents might receive. On the extremely luxurious side, some travel agencies like Fischer Travel Enterprises charge up to $150,000 in annual fees for members before the vacation is even booked. Yeah, planning is that precious.
To make a group trip go smoothly, the designated project manager might treat his or her best friends more like clients. Before our trip to Vegas, my planning counterpart and I wrote up a document on estimated flight prices, room rates with photos of floor plans, and estimates of total costs such as tickets and meals so people can refer to it before confirming their attendance. The best part? We did it for free.
While travel agents are paid for their range of services, amateurs do much of the same things without profiting from their work. While they may want to ask the group again to decide on breakfast reservations, there's nothing more satisfying than being able to say “I'm not sure, check the itinerary!” when someone asks when he should leave for a drag brunch.
Hard work pays off
Laying it all out in a survey can avoid questions about planned expenses that might seem difficult to bring up out of the blue. A detailed spreadsheet can gather everyone's flight information so people can split Ubers. A cute Canva edit can clarify when it's time to start getting ready, and vision boards can ensure no one shows up to pregame in an outfit that doesn't match the vibe. Friends planners can be annoying or tense before an event (I've been there!), but it's a necessary evil that's done for the greater good of the group – and to make sure the Instagram photos are fiery, Of course.
Does it seem a little strange to send your best friends a feedback form as if you were a telemarketer? Maybe. But it would be worse if your trip was like the Fyre Festival. You'll thank yourself later — and when everyone shows up knowing exactly what to wear with the perfect amount of money in their checking account, they'll probably thank you too.
Source:
Felisha Barrett, travel agent at Travel Forums
