The horror story goes something like this: A group of friends are traveling together in Europe. After choosing their rooms, there’s a minor disagreement over how to keep the Airbnb clean. Then two people argue over who to split the bill for dinner. As the sweaty group waits in a two-hour line to go up the Eiffel Tower, one friend makes a mean remark to another for not booking their tickets in advance. Tempers flare, more barbs are exchanged, and the drama engulfs the rest of the vacation. By the time everyone boards the flight home, no one is talking to each other. In the end, the trip was brought up in the group chat, but the group chat wasn’t brought up in the trip.
Maybe you've read stories like these online and felt sorry for yourself. Or maybe you've been there, wanting to do nothing but enjoy pasta and wine in peace on your Italian getaway while your friends give you the The Real Housewives People get into fights after one too many Aperol Spritzes. Here are 12 suggestions from the Cut team that will help you keep the peace and ensure your friendships survive your next group trip.
It helps to be clear about what you’re spending money on and what you’re not, so you don’t run into any surprises when you’re trying to choose an Airbnb or make dinner reservations. I usually find myself saying something like, “I’d rather keep lodging between $80 and $150 per night because that would allow me to spend more on nice meals.” Or, whenever possible, just go on a group trip with people who have similar spending habits.Sarah Miller, Photo Editor
I know it's not affordable for everyone, especially if the location is particularly upscale. But I promise you, having a room to decompress in away from everyone is worth it.Brooke Marine, Deputy Editor of the Culture Section
I always find it helpful to have a rough itinerary shared in a collaborative Google Doc before the trip. You’ll be very irritable if you show up at a fancy spa that has no tickets available and a month-long waiting list. You can always revise your daily schedule or improvise from what you have, but some structure is essential, otherwise you’ll spend half your vacation researching.Cat Zhang, cultural writer
Group trips are notoriously difficult to plan. Don’t make your friends wait with a “maybe” for more than a week or two of planning. If you can’t give them a straight answer, let them coordinate the logistics without you. And if for some reason you have to cancel a trip after you’ve paid your deposit, you’ll be on your own to pay your share (unless someone else is ready and willing to take your place). I once went on a bachelorette party where a last-minute work conflict arose for one of the guests. Not only did she honor her commitment to split the cost of the weekend, she had one of the restaurants on our itinerary send the group a seafood tower for dinner. Classy! —Catherine Thompson, Features Editor
Forcing the group to do everything together is a great way to stoke resentment, and you won’t always have the leverage to choose a location with maximum walkability or good public transportation. Plus, you never know when that extra flexibility will solve a scary logistical crisis. Have you ever calmed a fight by making a last-minute run to CVS? I have. —Danielle Cohen, writer
At a minimum, everyone should know the address of where you are staying and the check-in and check-out times before the trip begins.Trupti Rami, Deputy Editor, Digital
Are people more inclined to have a structured schedule that starts at 7 a.m., or do they plan to wake up whenever they want and improvise the day? Are your friends ready to party until dawn, or do they want to go to bed at 10 p.m.? Setting expectations around schedules will help you plan the trip and avoid conflicts later. The same goes for boundaries, especially if you’re mixing friends from different walks of life. It’s better to know in advance what makes people uncomfortable than to have to intervene mid-trip when Friend A gets upset about a half-naked stranger wandering around the Airbnb after having sex with Friend B. —Andrea Gonzalez-Ramirez, main editor
Any adventure only requires one guide and someone to control him in case he is not very good at directions (I publicly apologize for every time I have made my friends walk the wrong way). If more than two people are looking at the map, as a group we will spend too much time standing in one place, create conflict where everyone thinks they are right and come across as big tourists. This rule is even more important in a driving scenario. Only the passenger should be allowed to give directions in this case (and control the auxiliary), while the people sitting in the back relax and fully immerse themselves in the scenery.Maridelis Morales Rosado, photo editor
Track expenses and who owes what on In two stages. —Bindu Bansinath, writer
Some people need time off to recharge or take a nap. Others may want to exercise or read a book. Some may just want to take a short solo walk. If there are couples traveling, they may want to have sex, assuming the bedroom situation allows for it! It’s everyone’s vacation, so everyone should have some free time to use as they wish.Sasha Mutchnik, Senior Social Editor
Stay present and enjoy where you are, even if things don’t go as planned, because they usually don’t. If there are unexpected delays or long lines, I offer my phone for a few rounds of gaming Attention !It's the best way to pass the time, it's fun and it brings everyone together.Katja Vujić, writer
…But you have to be respectful. Disagreements will happen. When they do, remember that you only have control over your own actions and reactions. Stay light, keep moving forward. —TR